Skulduggery One-Shots
by HowAboutNay
Summary: These will be short one-shots and drabbles suggested to me by my friends that I'll also upload here. All will be K and probably really bad, sorry xD


Skulduggery was walking through autumn streets of Dublin. Valkyrie had been dragged to another family party and he had insisted that she went this time; despite her protests.

 _But why?! The toxic twins will be there and even more unbearable in costume. I swear that at Halloween they just show their true form. I think I'd literally rather be locked in a room full of vampires covered in black pudding."_

 _"I find that highly unlikely Miss Cain. Wait. Would you or the vampires be covered in black pudding?"_

 _"Me, you 6 foot 4 bonehead!"_

 _"Well I apologise for your incorrect use of grammar. Really, it's your own fault for my misunderstanding, you fleshbag."_

 _"Hey! That's rude! Thank you very much!"_

 _"Once again, you started it Cain, I merely beat you at your own game!"_

He adjusted the scarf covering his face, chuckling at the memory and tipped his rather large hat to a passing woman; he probably would have even winked if he had the eyelids for it. Just as he was about to cross the road, Skulduggery felt a small buzz coming from the pocket of his tan overcoat. Smiling, as much as he could, knowing that it would be his partner in crime, he picked up the phone.

"Ah Stephanie, how lovely to hear from you this October evening!"

"Shut it. You have to get me out of her Skulduggery! Beryl is constantly making comments about how 'unruly' I am and how I ever found myself in a position of 'unfair wealth'"

Skulduggery looked both ways as he started to cross the road, partly so check for oncoming cars and partly as a result of shaking his head in amusement at his companion.

"Firstly, rude. Secondly, if you have forgotten, I am a 6 foot skeleton; how am I meant to go to a Halloween party without being uncovered."

"Urgh I hate it when you're right." Valkyrie sighed down the phone.

"But I'm always right."

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Mum is on her way over here and I'm quite sure I might get at least 3 earfuls. See you tomorrow."

"Until then Miss Cain."

Skulduggery put the phone down an raised his head until he noticed the fancy dress store ahead of him.

"Idea."

|-/

After 10 minutes in the shop, Skulduggery left feeling like a new man, looking like one too. With his previous pinstripe suit in a bag at his side, he took the short walk to his 1954 R-type Continental Bentley.

"Hello my lovely, I missed you too."

Not a second after he put his bag in the boot of the car, he was speeding through the streets of Dublin to rescue a certain damsel in distress.

The hall at which the even was being held was only a half hours drive away but Skulduggery made it there in 20. He walked through the large double doors after arguing with the young valet to which he refused his service due to the possibility of his beautiful car being harmed.

It only took him a few seconds to locate his target as a result of his towering height. He made his way over to her in a matter of strides in shock.

"You didn't..."

Valkyrie turned round quickly and bit her lip to suppress her laughter. She was dressed head to toe in black, the only contrast being the bright white shapes to represent bones.

"You're a skeleton..."

"Funnily enough, I believe those were some of my first words to you" She couldn't keep it in any longer and started to laugh with some force.

"Hilarious. So this is why you wouldn't tell me what you were coming as."

"Well, I didn't think that you would be here to be fair. Speaking of, why are you and what on earth are you wearing?"

Valkyrie stared at her friend as he gave her a comic twirl.

"You said you needed saving, so here I am. Surprise! And in answer to your second question, why don't you take a guess?"

The young girl looked him up and down and noticed the large, historic suit and the fake beard that clung to his jawbone in a desperate effort to cover his face. Then there was the top hat and it all clicked.

"You're Abraham Lincoln, aren't you?"

"Well done Mister Holmes! I really do feel as though I pull of this look, don't you? Maybe I should swap this out, rock this day to day."

His friend was still staring but her facial expression had changed from amusement to worry.

"You really can't be here! What if you get caught?! Come on let's go!" She grabbed his large gloved and pulled.

"But I didn't get any nibblessssss" He whined, dragging out the 's' sound as he was dragged away.

"Do you even have to eat?" Valkyrie questioned in an exasperated tone as they left through the side entrance into the night.


End file.
